


I Breathe Where You Breathe, Let Me Stand Where You Stand

by Kahtya Sofia (KahtyaSofia)



Series: HPtPoO [2]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M, Military
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-09
Updated: 2011-11-09
Packaged: 2017-10-25 21:35:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/275041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KahtyaSofia/pseuds/Kahtya%20Sofia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nine months after the end of events in Half Past the Point of Oblivion, Brad gets word he's being deployed. Arrangements must be made and goodbyes said, when a warrior goes off to war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Breathe Where You Breathe, Let Me Stand Where You Stand

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the Rob Thomas song, All That I Am. Listen to that song, it is the soundtrack for this story from Nate's POV.
> 
> This is much more angsty and emo than I like to write Brad and Nate, but it occured to me that if two BAMFs are ever going to be angsty and emo, it is when one of them is sending the other off to war.
> 
> Unbeta'd. All errors are mine alone.

“Owe,” Nate hissed, shaking out his singed thumb before slipping it into his mouth to ease the burn.

Brad would be home soon. He was a little later than usual tonight, so Nate had started dinner. He did that a lot, these days. Nate cooked almost as often as Brad did. It hadn’t been that way in the beginning. Brad had taken care of Nate and Nate had …well, he’d seen to some of Brad’s _needs_.

The sound of the garage door rolling up alerted Nate to Brad’s arrival. The motorcycle thundered as Brad parked it before he cut the engine.

Nate would have gone to greet him but he was trying to keep dinner from scorching. Brad was just going to have to come to him.

“Hey,” Brad said as he entered the kitchen, stuffing his utility cover in the leg pocket of his uniform.

“Hey,” Nate replied, adjusting the heat under the pan.

Brad crossed to the refrigerator and took out a beer. After a long drink, he offered the bottle to Nate. Brad settled a hip against the fridge and watched Nate cook. Nate watched Brad as he swallowed a mouthful of beer.

Something was off.

Brad was subdued tonight. Not that he was ever very lugubrious. Anxiety settled coldly in Nate’s gut. He handed the beer back to Brad and turned his attention to dinner. He wanted something to focus on if this was going to hurt.

Pushing off of the fridge, Brad placed a quick kiss on the side of Nate’s neck. “Smells good,” he said. “I’m gonna go change.”

“Okay,” Nate said, smiling broadly, relief washing over him so acutely it was almost painful. That’s what had been missing and he hadn’t even realized it. Maybe everything really was okay.

Dinner was quiet. Nate did most of the talking. Brad was engaged and social, but he was distracted and Nate’s sense of dread crept back.

Pushing his plate away, Brad rested his elbows on the counter top. “There’s some scuttlebutt going around at work,” he said so casually, the hair on Nate’s arms stood up.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, there’s some noise that we might be deployed sometime in the next six months.”

“Well,” Nate swallowed past the lump in his throat, unable to look at Brad. “We knew that would happen eventually.”

“I was hoping for more time.”

Nate concurred but he said nothing.

“I asked you once, what you would do if I got deployed,” Brad said into the silence.

Nate remembered. He remembered like it was yesterday. “Nothing’s changed for me,” he said, surprised at the low, rough sound of his own voice.

“Things _have_ changed, though,” Brad replied quietly.

Nate’s mouth went dry and his pulse hammered in his throat. “I guess they have.”

“We’ve been playing house for the last nine months.” Brad finally turned on his stool to face Nate. “It’s time we stopped playing at it.”

“Right,” Nate said, unable to catch his breath. He gathered up the dirty dishes. “You’re right.”

Standing at the sink, Nate started to clean up from dinner, careful not to throw plates or slam pans around. He knew this was inevitable. A part of him had always known. When he’d let Brad move him in Nate had known that someday, Brad would look around and wonder what the fuck he’d done. What had he been thinking to shack up with a former street hustler?

First thing Nate had to do was find an apartment. He made great of money now. He’d bought a new car but he hadn’t gone crazy so there was plenty left for rent. He’d start saving up for furnishings. He wondered just how soon Brad expected him to move out. He’d ask that when Brad was done talking.

“Nate.”

Brad’s voice was right behind him and Nate startled violently. He hadn’t heard the fucker move.

“Sorry, I have some things on my mind,” Nate said quickly.

“If you think any harder you’re going to strain a muscle,” Brad said. He pressed his forehead to the back of Nate’s head but otherwise didn’t touch. Nate could barely hear him when Brad murmured, “I didn’t mean to worry you. I just wanted to get the important stuff out of the way so when I get my official orders we’re not wasting what little time we’ll have together.”

Nate stopped breathing.

Brad had more to say. “I know my mom will honor my wishes, but I think she’ll want to meet you before she has to sign over all of my military benefits.”  


A sound escaped Nate that he’d only heard himself make once before, and it had been Brad’s fault then, too. It could have been a sob but Nate couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried for himself.

Brad’s arms came around his waist. Nate felt Brad’s warm breath on his neck.

“Please don’t do this, Nate,” Brad whispered. “It’s going to be hard enough to leave you. I don’t even know when I’m going, yet. This is just paperwork.”  


“I thought you wanted me to leave,” Nate said, unable to catch his breath.

Behind him, he felt Brad tense. “Why? Didn’t you hear what I was saying?”

“You said we had to stop playing house.”

Brad’s arms tightened almost painfully. “Because I think we should be doing it for real. That’s what I was explaining. I’m changing my will so you get everything. I can make you my beneficiary on my private life insurance but it has to be my mom on my military benefits. I’ll stipulate in my will that she sign it all over to you, though.”

“I don’t want your fucking money, Brad,” Nate choked, grasping Brad’s arms desperately where they were wrapped around him.

“I know. But I want you to have it if the worst happens.”

“Fuck you,” Nate whispered harshly.

“That’s the plan. Every day until I leave.”

Nate could hear the smile in Brad’s voice and he was finally able to laugh.

“I once asked you what you’d do if I got deployed,” Brad repeated.

“I remember. A lot has changed since then but the spirit of my answer is unchanged.” Nate considered turning so he could see Brad’s face. Something told him that Brad would find it easier to speak if Nate wasn’t watching him.

“I still want to know you’ll be here waiting for me, though.”

“I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me you want me to.”

“Most deployments last an entire year. That’s a long time to ask you to wait.”

Christ, what was Brad thinking? Nate turned in his arms until they were chest to chest. “You’re not asking me to do anything. I’m telling you I will. I want to.”  


Brad pressed his lips to Nate’s temple. “Please just don’t bring them here. To _our_ bed.”

Nate’s blood ran to ice. Just because he’d been a whore didn’t mean he couldn’t keep it in his pants. “You know, I am capable of making do with my own hand while you’re gone. It’s a small sacrifice to make,” Nate said angrily. He pulled back and waited until Brad met his eyes. “And I would _never_ bring anyone here. Do you seriously think I’m going to be out cruising as soon you’re out of town?”

“A year is a long time,” Brad replied, cradling Nate’s face between both hands. “Things change. Jesus, Nate, if you could see yourself right now, you’d know why I’m worried.”

That didn’t make sense to Nate. What did how he looked when he was mad have anything to do with his feelings for Brad? All Nate knew was he needed Brad to realize that just because he lived and breathed _Semper Fidelis_ , didn’t mean the people in his life couldn’t be faithful as well.

Nate fisted both hands in Brad’s shirt. Clumsily, he found Brad’s mouth with his own and pushed in with his tongue. This wasn’t about seduction. This was hunger, anger, desperation and making Brad feel what it was Nate was feeling.

Brad kissed back like he always did; enthusiastic bordering on aggressive. Nate still remembered their first kiss and how it had weakened his knees. He hadn’t been expecting that.

Pulling back, Nate pulled off Brad’s shirt and launched it across the room. He reached for the waist of Brad’s jeans as he began to kiss his way down Brad’s chest. Nate sank to his knees, on the floor, at Brad’s feet. He freed Brad’s swiftly growing erection and tugged his jeans down over his hips.  


“Nate, you don’t have to …” Brad said, even as one hand came around to cradle Nate’s skull.

“Shut up, Brad,” Nate said, leaning in to swipe his tongue over the head of Brad’s cock. He was gambling he could get through to Brad more easily with sensation than with words.

Above him, Brad gasped. Nate moaned when Brad’s fingers slid into his hair and tightened. He loved that feel of tightly leashed strength, only barely contained. His own cock responded with a powerful surge of blood.

Nate opened his mouth and slid his lips down the length of Brad’s erection. He pulled back with a hard suck and felt Brad harden even further. Nate gripped Brad’s hips, digging his thumbs into the hollows just beneath the ridges of muscle at his hipbones. He pressed his tongue to the veined underside of Brad’s cock and relaxed his throat.

Breathing steadily through his nose, Nate looked up into Brad’s burning blue eyes. He held Brad’s gaze as he pushed his mouth down the length of Brad’s erection until the head slid into the back of his throat. Nate breathed deeply, catching the musky scent of Brad’s coarse pubic hair where it brushed against his lips. The heavy feel of Brad on his tongue and the lewd sounds he was making had Nate’s cock growing harder.

Brad’s mouth fell open and his eyelids fluttered. The color was high on his cheeks and was spreading down his throat and chest. Fuck, but Nate liked that look on Brad. It made Nate feel powerful to render Brad stunned and speechless; slowly coming apart in Nate’s mouth and hands.

He worked his mouth up and down Brad’s cock. Nate tongued the slit and swirled spit around the head. He pressed his lips into the fragrant hair at the base and then pulled back to the head but never pulled off. He felt Brad struggle against both Nate’s restraining hands on his hips, and against his own self-control. With each glide of his mouth along Brad’s erection, the muscles in Brad’s hips tensed and flexed as he battled not to shove himself deeper into Nate’s mouth.

As Nate tongued Brad’s slit and licked up the sweet pre-come, he slid one hand up along Brad’s taut belly. He slipped into a steady rhythm with his mouth and smoothed his palm along Brad’s heated skin. Glancing up again, he saw Brad was still watching him intently. Nate moaned around Brad’s cock and Brad answered with a harsh groan. Nate’s cock pushed against the confinement of his jeans and the sensual pain made him moan again. Brad slid his tongue along his own reddened lower lip. His eyes were ablaze and never wavered from Nate’s.

Taking his other hand from Brad’s hip, Nate wrapped it around Brad’s erection and matched the rhythm of his mouth. He dragged the thumb of his first hand along a ridge of muscle but stopped when one of Brad’s hands was suddenly clutching his. Nate turned his hand and pressed their palms together. Brad held their clasped hands against the sweat-slickened skin of his stomach.

Nate’s heart soared and he nearly smiled around Brad’s cock. That was the reaction from Brad he’d been striving for; the connection with him he’d wanted to forge. Nate sped up his motions, watching Brad all the while.

He knew when Brad got close. Nate felt the fingers still buried in his hair tighten. Brad’s hips thrust erratically and the hand grasping his clenched hard. The first, small splash of come hit his tongue and Nate pushed himself down the length of Brad’s cock.

With a string of colorful obscenities, Brad started to come. Nate let the hot fluid roll over the back of his tongue and down his throat. He swallowed deliberately once or twice, letting his muscles clench and caress the head of Brad’s cock. Nate remembered the first time he’d tasted Brad’s come. It had been intense for both of them; the culmination of six months of medical test and anticipation. It had solidified a commitment, still unspoken between them, yet somehow understood.  


Nate swallowed down the last of the come just as he felt Brad’s body go lax. He carefully let Brad’s softening cock slip from his mouth. Almost immediately, Brad dropped to his knees in front of Nate.

Brad kissed him, licking into his mouth without hesitation. Nate tilted his head to better the angle, sliding his hands up Brad’s chest and feeling the sprinkling of chest hairs scratch against his palms. The painful pressure on his cock eased abruptly. Through the haze of his lust, Nate realized Brad had opened the fly of his jeans. He hissed at the feel of Brad’s callused fingers on his erection, gently easing him out and into the cooler air of the kitchen.

Brad spit into his palm several times. He reached for Nate’s cock with that same hand and the other he wrapped around the back of Nate’s neck. When Brad’s slick hand was around his sensitive erection, Nate moaned loudly. He knew Brad wanted to hear. He met Brad’s eyes and held them, resisting the urge to close them as a wave of intense sensation washed over him. He didn’t understand why, but Brad liked to watch Nate come. He liked Nate to keep his eyes wide open. Brad liked that just as much as he liked hearing Nate make a lot of noise.

They held onto each other as Brad stroked Nate’s cock with intent. He was so fucking turned on from sucking Brad’s dick, Nate knew he wasn’t going to last long. Not only that, but Brad had learned early in the game just how to push Nate’s buttons. He used his thumb and two fingers in a tight grip, focused on the head of Nate’s erection. Just a few strokes in and Nate was mindlessly flexing his hips in time with Brad’s hand.

His balls tightened and heat pooled low in his belly. Nate bit down on his lower lip as a myriad of sensations collided inside him and rolled through his system. Brad’s eyes narrowed, his expression hot and hungry. He tugged Nate forward and lowered his head to slowly drag his tongue along Nate’s upper lip. When Nate released his lower one, Brad sucked the lip into his own mouth. He dragged his teeth along it, nipping lightly a few times.

Nate shuddered.

“Look at me, Nate,” Brad said, his voice shredded like he’d been shouting orders. “Don’t look away.”

Nate tightened his grip on Brad’s shoulders, both to steady and to ground himself. Brad’s talented hand had him right on the verge of coming. Tingling started at the base of his spine and swept through him, converging on his cock. Nate panted heavily through his mouth, Brad’s eyes holding him trapped. With one long, convulsive shiver, Nate’s body locked up and his breath caught in his chest. Brad’s eyes widened and the corner of his mouth lifted in a triumphant smile.  


“Fuck,” Nate shouted as he came in Brad’s hand. He clenched his jaw and hissed through his teeth, a litany of profanity he’d learned from Brad. Marines really did have filthier mouths than whores.

“That’s it,” Brad whispered, still stroking Nate through his climax. “Yeah, just like that.”

Nate’s cock gave one final, violent pulse. His balls spasmed half-heartedly and Nate’s body went boneless. Warmth spread through him, leaving him exhausted but sated. He leaned forward, letting his head fall against Brad’s shoulder as he tried to steady his erratic breathing.

“You don’t even know what you look like when you come,” Brad murmured against Nate’s temple, as if he wasn’t aware of what he was even saying.  


His words confused Nate. He couldn’t parse their meaning or their significance. Pulling back, he struggled to focus.

“Do I make stupid faces?” Nate asked. In his experience, everyone made stupid faces when they came. Everyone except Brad, anyway.

“No,” Brad said quickly then pressed a gentle kiss to the side of Nate’s neck. “There’s nothing stupid about you. Hand me a towel?”

Nate lifted his head and twisted back to reach the dishtowel he’d left on the countertop. He handed it to Brad and watched distractedly as he wiped Nate’s come from his hand. When he was finished, Brad looked up and met Nate’s eyes.

Nate exhaled harshly, his relief nearly palpable. Brad’s eyes were calm; filled with affection and warmth. The events of the last little while flooded Nate’s memory but he realized immediately his gambit had paid off. As good as Brad was with words, he was more a man of action. He struggled with his feelings, particularly his feelings for Nate. Sometimes the best way to talk to Brad was to say nothing at all.

“My knees are starting to hurt,” Nate mused.

“Pussy civilian,” Brad groused, slowly climbing to his feet and tugging his jeans up over his hips. He held out a hand to help Nate rise.

Once he was standing, Nate began to head toward the bedroom. Brad didn’t release his hand, though. Instead, he used it to pull Nate into his arms.

Wrapping his own arms around Brad’s waist, Nate pretended he didn’t feel the tremor run through Brad’s body. The sigh of relief against Nate’s hair went unmentioned as well.

~*~

Brad rapped the backs of his knuckles on the front door, even as he was turning the handle and pushing it open. “Anybody home?” he called rhetorically.

Nate stood frozen on the front porch. There was no reason to be nervous about meeting Brad’s family. The truth had already been disclosed. Well, the important parts, anyway. For everything else, he and Brad had a cover story, the details of which they’d decided they would always gloss over. How they’d met would eventually just be lost to history.

“Bradley!” A young, dark haired woman called as she came charging down the staircase. She launched herself into Brad’s arms and he caught her easily.

“Hey, Brad,” greeted another woman as she came out of the kitchen. She was obviously the sister to the first.

The strange thing was, they were both sisters to fair-haired Brad.

Nate forced himself across the threshold, closing the door behind himself.

Brad released the woman and turned toward Nate. “Hannah, this is Nate. Nate, my youngest sister, Hannah.”

“Nate, welcome,” Hannah said, pulling him into a hug. Nate returned the affection, despite his surprise.

When Hannah released him, it was in time to see Brad letting go of his other sister. “Rachel, this is Nate. Nate, my oldest sister, Rachel.”

Rachel smiled as she approached Nate. “Note that he said _oldest_ sister, not _older_ sister. He’s still older than I am.”

As Rachel also drew Nate into a hug, he heard Brad say, “Older, wiser, better looking.”

Rachel pulled back and spun on Brad. “Watch it or we’ll throw you back.”

“I keep hoping,” Brad said, straight faced, and turned toward the kitchen.

As Brad’s sisters ushered Nate into the kitchen in Brad’s wake, he was surprised at the content of their banter. Brad was so quick to assume abandonment was imminent, Nate would have thought the topic of his adoption might be a sore one.

As Nate entered the kitchen, sandwiched by Brad’s sisters, he saw Brad embracing an attractive older woman with dark hair down past her shoulders. Brad released her then guided her toward Nate with a hand at the small of her back.

“Mom, this is Nate,” Brad said quietly, bordering on reverent.

Brad’s mom smiled brightly at Nate as she approached. Without looking away from Nate, she turned in Brad’s direction and in a stage whisper said, “Oh, Bradley, he’s a _looker_.”

To Nate’s surprise, his face flushed as he was enveloped in a fierce hug. Sense memory overwhelmed him, shocking in its intensity and suddenness. Something in the way it felt to embrace Brad’s mom reminded Nate of his own mother. In that moment, he missed her as if he’d lost her only days before.

“Leave it to Brad to bring home the best looking guy, ever,” Hannah called over her shoulder as she stepped through the sliding glass door onto the back patio.

Brad’s mom pulled back and clasped Nate’s hands in her own. “It’s a delight to meet you, Nate. Welcome to our home.”

“It’s an honor to meet you as well, ma’am,” Nate said, struggling to find his equilibrium. “Thank you for having me.”

Brad’s mom pulled a face. “Ma’am is so formal, and you’re family, so none of that.”

“Hey, Dad,” Hannah’s shout came from out on the patio, “Brad’s here.”

“Well he’s going to have to come out here,” a man’s voice replied. “I have meat on the grill.”

Hannah re-entered the house, smiling. “You heard him.”

Brad gestured for Nate to follow him as he stepped out onto the patio. Together they crossed the backyard to a large gazebo that housed an elaborate barbeque grill. Tools and grilling implements hung from hooks along the gazebo and the flat surfaces were covered in various food items, some cooked, some waiting for their turn.

Brad’s father was a man of average stature, shorter than Nate and with a medium build. He, like the rest of the family, had thick dark hair. Nate wondered if he’d ever get over the incongruity of Brad’s features compared to his family’s. He watched Brad embrace his father with as much affection and enthusiasm as he had the women. Nate’s chest ached at the sight. He couldn’t recall his father ever showing him any physical affection, even before his mother had died.

“Dad, I want you to meet Nate,” Brad said, tugging Nate forward by his arm. “Nate, this is my father.”

Nate was relieved when Brad’s father extended his hand instead of embracing him as well. That might have been more than Nate could handle in one day.

“Nate, it’s good to have you here,” Brad’s father said, his handshake firm and vigorous. “Thank you for joining us.”

There was something in his tone that made Nate suspect he wasn’t talking only about the barbecue. “It’s my pleasure, sir,”

The meal was a more sedate affair than Nate had anticipated based on the initial greetings. Brad’s parents were educated and his sisters were both attending college so it resulted in very intellectual conversations. Brad’s opinions frequently differed from his family’s which led to spirited arguments. His parents were forced to defend their positions in the face of Brad’s informed opposition. His sisters couldn’t seem to win an argument against him.

Nate was seated beside Brad and they were across from both of his sisters. At first, Nate intended to keep quiet and simply observe the family dynamics but Brad wouldn’t allow it. He drew Nate into the conversations and even baited him a time or two just to get a heated reaction.

Rachel laughed and sat back in her chair. “Oh, Nate, you couldn’t be more perfect for Brad.”

Nate had no idea how to respond to that. Luckily he didn’t have to. The entire family concurred and the conversation moved on, not requiring any comment from Nate. A quick glance at Brad and Nate was both relieved and surprised to see he was grinning.

The meal over, Brad’s parents were standing at the kitchen sink. Brad and Nate were handing them dishes to be cleaned when Brad said in a quiet voice, “We need to have a talk later on.”

It was an innocuous statement but was apparently a Colbert family code. Nate watched as Brad’s father stopped all movement. His mother’s entire body tensed and her back straightened.

“Oh, Brad, no,” his mom said softly.

“Mom, don’t do this,” Brad said to her. “It’s my job. Now, I have some arrangements I need to discuss with you.”

Nate stood perfectly still, feeling like an intruder in an emotionally charge family moment and wishing the ground could open up and swallow him.

Brad’s mom turned to glare at her son over her shoulder. “I know that Brad. I respect it and I admire it. But I don’t have to like it.”

Nate inhaled sharply. Brad’s mom had spoken aloud precisely what had been swirling chaotically through his own head.

Brad’s hand came to rest on Nate’s shoulder, squeezing gently before sliding down to rub his lower back a few times. It was the mirror image of the comforting gesture Brad’s father extended to his mom.

The family settled around the table once more for dessert and coffee. If Brad’s sisters were aware of the tension that hadn’t been there during dinner, they gave no sign.

“Girls, you need to excuse us now,” Brad’s mom finally said to Hannah and Rachel. “There are some things Brad needs to discuss with us.”

Both young women turned to look at their brother, expressions suddenly serious.

“Soon?” Rachel asked.

“No,” Brad replied, “there’s still plenty of time, yet.”

“Say goodbye before you leave, Brad,” Hannah called as they left the kitchen together, taking their refilled coffee cups with them.

“Nate will ensure that I do,” Brad told her, grinning.

Brad’s mom moved to sit in Hannah’s vacated chair, his dad remained at the head of the table.

“Alright, so what do you know?” his mom asked on a heavy sigh.

“It’s all still rumors at this point,” he told her. “But most likely I’ll be deployed to Iraq again, sometime in the next six months or so.”

“What do you need from us, Brad?” his dad asked. “You’re making changes to your will, I assume.”

“Yes,” Brad answered with a nod. “We’ve already established my house as Nate’s legal residence. I’ve made him the beneficiary of all my non-military benefits. When I change my will, he’ll get my house and I’m going to stipulate that you guys sign over to him any military benefits you receive.”

Nate folded his arms over his chest and sat back in his chair. He didn’t like this casual discussion of Brad’s potential death. He especially didn’t like the idea of profiting from it.

“You know that won’t be a problem,” Brad’s mom said. She glanced at Nate. “But I don’t think Nate likes the idea.”

“I know he doesn’t,” Brad said quietly.

“No, I don’t,” Nate blurted, surprising himself. His voice was low and rough. Throwing up his hands in surrender, he sat forward and said, “I don’t like casually discussing the fact that Brad might die halfway around the world. I especially don’t like the idea that I’ll benefit from it. The only way I benefit is if you come home unharmed.” This last he said directly to Brad. “Couldn’t your sisters use all your insurance money?”

“They have my parents to help them out,” Brad replied, eyes never wavering from Nate’s. “And they always will. You don’t have anyone to look after you.”

“I don’t need to be looked after,” Nate said sharply, embarrassed that they were having this argument again, only this time in front of Brad’s parents.

“I want to know that if the worst happens, you’ll move on with your life in the best way possible,” Brad said, almost imploringly. “I want you to take a job because it’s a good job and not because you need the money. I want you to know you always have a safe and comfortable place to live.”

Nate sat in stunned silence. This was the first time Brad had come anywhere close to mentioning Nate’s past. He was determined to look after Nate, even if he did it from the grave.

“I have my degree, Brad,” Nate said gently, warmth spreading through his chest. “I’m not ever going to be destitute.”

“He won’t ever be alone,” Brad’s mom interrupted. “We’re not going to leave him to miss you all by himself. And if the worst happens, we’re certainly not going to make him mourn you alone.”

“I know, mom,” Brad replied. “And I appreciate that. Especially since Nate’s going to be on his own with this. He can’t take advantage of the Ombudsman’s program or any of the support systems for the wives.”

Now that was just going too far. “Hey, enough of that. I am not the wife, here.”

Brad turned toward him, one brow lifted. “Oh, I _know_ you’re not the wife.”

Brad’s mom was hiding her smile behind her hand and his father suddenly found the ceiling fan fascinating.

“If either of us is the wife, it’s you,” Nate retorted, relieved the mood in the room had shifted. “You do all the laundry and most of the cooking.”

“I do most of the cooking because I’m better at it.”

“You just keep telling yourself that.” Nate flopped back in his chair, biting back a smile.

“However, if I was the wife, I’d be a damn good one.”

“Okay, _boys_ ,” Brad’s mom said pointedly. “Stop flirting so we can wrap up business.”

It was easier after that. Nate didn’t feel so much like he’d be profiting in the event of Brad’s death, knowing that it put Brad’s mind at ease to know Nate would be taken care of financially.

He still didn’t like it, but Nate realized that this is what you had to do when you sent your warrior off to battle.

~*~

Nate lifted his hips so Brad could slide the pillow beneath them. They were both breathing heavy and covered in a light sheen of sweat. Brad had prepped Nate, slow and tortuously. He’d been kindly cruel about it.

Brad lowered himself onto Nate again. Nate wrapped his arms and legs around Brad’s body and pulled him close. He ran his hands down the length of Brad’s slick back until he could grip his ass. Nate was memorizing Brad’s body. He’d already spent hours using his lips and tongue to map the dips and planes. He had committed Brad’s scent and taste to memory. Now, Nate was cataloging the feel of Brad’s weight on top of him; the sensation of Brad moving against him as he panted hotly against Nate’s neck.

Suddenly, Brad’s mouth was on his again. Nate opened eagerly and pushed his tongue past Brad’s lips. He’d already recorded these sensations, on a loop in his brain, but he could never get enough of kissing Brad. Each one of these kisses could be their last and Nate coveted them.

Brad’s lubed cock slid wetly between Nate’s ass cheeks. Each press of Brad’s hips made his erection glide along Nate’s sensitized skin, pressing slightly against his opening before sliding on. Nate flexed his hips and groaned his frustration into Brad’s mouth.

Brad had him on fucking tenterhooks. He’d sucked Nate’s cock with slow deliberation while he’d fingered him open. He’d paid particular attention to Nate’s  
prostate. Now, Nate was writhing against Brad, desperate and aching, already strangely lonely.

He had one more memory to make. “Now, Brad, come on,” Nate practically begged. He was beyond caring.

Brad pressed up onto his hands in one smooth motion. Nate ran his hands down Brad’s sweaty chest. He never got enough of the tightly leashed power in Brad’s body.  


When the tip of Brad’s dick slid away from Nate’s opening, yet again, Nate pressed up onto an elbow. He reached between their bodies and grasped Brad’s naked cock. He was grateful each and every time that they’d been able to do away with all the physical barriers between them.

Nate positioned Brad against his own body. Tilting his head up, he licked Brad’s neck and whispered, “Now.”

Brad flexed his hips and pushed relentlessly into Nate’s body. Nate fell back onto the bed with a low moan. He drew his knees up and Brad slid in deeper on the next thrust.

Collapsing onto his elbows, Brad buried his face in Nate’s neck and groaned harshly, “Christ, Nate, you feel good.”

Nate realized he wasn’t the only one storing up memories. Brad was surely forging his own, to carry with him to the desert when he went into battle.

Brad eased out slightly and Nate felt himself stretch around the head of Brad’s cock. He moaned as Brad slid back in even deeper, moving easily without the drag of latex. Nate felt filled and stretched and still he wanted more.

Brad pushed all the way inside of Nate then pulled back again. Nate braced, ready for Brad’s usual vigorous, pounding rhythm. Nate liked it hard and fast and Brad never failed to give him what he wanted.

Nate’s breath caught when Brad settled into a slow, steady pace. He felt Brad’s breath, rapid and hot against his neck. Nate wrapped himself more tightly around Brad’s body and squeezed his eyes shut. Brad was still taking his time, drawing it out, making it last. The intimacy of it nearly ruined Nate.

He turned his head slightly and pressed his lips to the shell of Brad’s ear. His whisper broke each time their bodies came together. “I don’t want you to go.”

“Christ, Nate,” Brad gasped. Nate felt him shift and then Brad’s fingers were sliding into his hair, clasping tightly. Brad’s harsh breaths ghosted over Nate’s cheek and his lips. He dragged his own lips over Brad’s jaw as he hovered just above, eyes open and watching Nate intently.

Brad shifted slightly against Nate. He changed the angle he stroked into Nate and circled his hips. His cock hit that sweet spot inside of Nate that made him see stars.

Arching his neck, Nate slammed his eyes shut and cried out. “Oh, fuck, Brad,” he groaned harshly.

Brad kept up his sensual assault as he whispered against Nate’s cheek. “Do I make you feel good, Nate?”

“Yeah,” Nate gasped, his body bowed up against Brad’s.

“Do I feel good inside you?”

Brad never needed validation of his prowess. Nate looked up at him through slit eyelids. Brad’s face was a portrait of wonder and vulnerability. Nate clasped his face with both hands and kissed him. Brad’s rhythm faltered slightly as he returned Nate’s kiss fervently. Nate tasted the desperation there and tried to answer with everything he didn’t have the words to express.

Finally, he pulled back and looked up into Brad’s flushed face. His lips were red and swollen and his blue eyes blazed with emotions he’d never put to words. Nate kept his legs wrapped around Brad’s hips, encouraging his rhythm at the same time he held him close.

Pulling Brad’s head down, Nate whispered against his lips, “You better fucking come back to me, Brad.”

Brad’s hips picked up speed as he pressed kisses to the space just below Nate’s ear. Nate shivered. One of Brad’s hands slipped out of Nate’s hair and reached between their bodies. Nate choked on his own breath when Brad’s fingers wrapped around his cock where it lay weeping and forgotten against his belly.

Nate couldn’t look away from Brad’s eyes or his hungry expression.

“I wanna watch you come, Nate, just one more time.” Nate could barely hear Brad’s softly whispered request over the sound of their bodies meeting and his own shuddering moans of pleasure.

Nate was used to Brad’s lewd talk while they fucked, he actually got off on it. But this was different. Brad needed this from Nate.

When he came, Nate kept his eyes open and locked on Brad’s. He clutched at Brad’s shoulders and felt himself spasm around Brad’s cock. Nate’s mouth hung open as he cried out his pleasure and rode the cresting waves of his climax.

This was the last orgasm Nate would have for an entire year that wasn’t the result of his own hand, and he let Brad see the truth of that. Nate let Brad see how desperate he already was for him to come home.

“Fuck,” Brad breathed as Nate lay quivering with aftershocks. “You have no idea how you look.”

The way Brad was watching him made Nate’s heart ache. “Now you. I want to feel you come inside of me.”

Brad buried his face in Nate’s neck again and picked up a punishing rhythm. This was familiar to Nate, this was what he knew. Just a few thrusts in and he felt Brad start to come. Nate hissed at the burn from Brad final, brutal push into his body. Brad’s entire frame began to quake and shudder. Nate felt his cock pulse inside of him and then Brad’s come began to flood into him. Nate memorized that sensation so he could remember it when Brad was far away and out of reach.  


Later, when Nate was cradled against Brad’s chest, he said, “I want to go with you tomorrow.”

“I want to say goodbye to you here,” Brad replied. “I won’t be able to touch you if we say goodbye at the base. We’ll have to stand there and shake hands like buddies.”

“It would be that much more time we could spend together, though,” Nate argued. Every last moment was precious to him now that there were so few left.

“I want my last memory of you to be of me touching you. I want to remember kissing you goodbye. Not waving like you were just my ride to the base.”

Nate sighed heavily. He could tell Brad’s mind was made up. “How much time do we have?”

“Not enough,” Brad sighed.

~*~

Brad was dressed in his utility uniform, his gear stacked neatly on the floor beside them. Nate wore a tee shirt and jeans. The sky outside was dark gray, the sun had yet to begin to rise. They stood inside the front door, facing each other.

Brad wasn’t deploying immediately. His battalion was staging at the base in what amounted to a security lockdown. Sometime in the next few days, he’d be on his way. Nate wouldn’t know anything until he was actually in Iraq.

“I’ll call your cell from a sat-phone any chance I get,” Brad said. “Just be advised, I have to call my mom once in awhile, too.”

“I know, I expect you to,” replied Nate.

“I can email more often. We’ll make arrangements to Skype.”

“I’ll do whatever I can to arrange my schedule around your availability.”

From outside, a car horn sounded one short burst. It was enough to be heard by anyone awake but probably didn’t wake up any neighbors.  


“That’s Poke.” Brad opened the front and held up a single finger, asking for just one minute more.

“I can ride with Gina and the kids,” Nate said.

As he expected, Brad shook his head. “I’m saying goodbye to you here, where I can do it right.”

Nate grasped the front of Brad’s uniform and pulled their bodies close together. He felt Brad’s arms go around him. “I know it’ll piss you off if I say ‘be careful’. I know you’re going to do what you have to do while you’re over there. Just … don’t take _unnecessary_ risks.”

“I’m coming home,” Brad said quietly. “Just be here when I get back.”

“When you get back, there’ll be yellow ribbons tied to _everything_.”

Brad groaned as if he was in pain. Nate chuckled.

“I gotta go,” Brad whispered.

Nate pressed their lips together, sweeping his tongue into Brad’s mouth when he met no resistance. There were teeth behind the kiss and it tasted of longing and desperation. Nate would wait for Brad and he said so through the kiss. He knew Brad would do what was necessary to come home to him. Now, Nate just had to make it through the next year.

Brad pulled away abruptly, as if he had to leave that moment or risk not being able to go at all. Nate staggered slightly at the sudden loss. Brad began to gather up his gear and when he was laden with his bags, he yanked open the front door and strode out. Nate stepped out onto the front porch and crossed his arms around himself, seeking comfort.

Gina Espera waved from the passenger seat of the SUV and Nate returned it. He liked Gina. Since the official order of deployment had come down, he’d gotten to know her and the other wives married to men in Brad’s platoon. They had made a point to include Nate in their unofficial social activities and even had him on the phone tree - just not in writing.

Brad stopped and turned around. “I forgot to tell you,” he said. “Gina and the other wives are starting a Bravo II support group, just for themselves. Well, and for you.”

“What?”

Brad grinned as he turned back toward the SUV. “They didn’t want you to feel left out so they started a group you could be a part of.”

Nate snorted a laugh.

He watched the SUV turn the corner and drive out of sight before he went back inside, closed the door and leaned against it. He smiled to himself.

Turns out he really was the wife after all.


End file.
